Where on earth is my heaven???.

"Heaven is a choice to be made on earth,
Not a place to be found".

These obscure lines, kept reechoing its nuances, in her mind, like those of the recurring, strikingly powerful waves lashing at the vast, unsparingly spread white shore, which was visibly clear untill a few minutes before. She could no longer see them through the large , freshly cleaned glass -paned window, still smelling of the cleansing liquid......The overcast sky, defending itself from the fury of the mighty clouds, clashing against each other, willfully poured its casket of burning anger on earth, and soon enough, it was followed by the thunder's deafening groan..........every element of nature, set out to prove its unruly force to the other.

"Weather can be so treacherous", she muttered to herself....... and so can be Life, capricious and totally unpredictable..........

The cruel phone in the drawing room rang constantly, shrieking with it all its intensity. She ran into the hall, opened the creaking door that led her way in to the dark room , which was emitting the continous sound. The ring abruptly ended, when she placed her right foot in to the room.as if the caller had heard the gentle tap of her footsteps, invading the room and had decided to refrain from talking.......And even her feet, played the part of an accomplice by defying every consciously made attempt to move forward.

This bluish coloured, square shaped phone had meant everything to her a few months ago , for many, it was simply another inanimate object, similar to the dozens that every average household boasts of, but for her, it was nothing less than a dear comrade , who brought her lover's messages time and again, crossing the distant seven oceans and seas..........The voice of Bob, filtered through the innumerable tiny holes of the earpiece ....was so pure and chaste, just like the bhajans that she used to sing ,even before the chirpy birds woke up from their sleepy nights, to an active day............Now the phone, was a mere lifeless instrument.....whose invariant sound played havoc with her hackneyed senses....every time it rang.....

She had met Bob, a freelance journalist working for various NGOs, during a trip to the States. A young, exuberant individual, who strongly held the binding principles of his life with an inviolable chord of closely - knitted values, a Gandhian to the core.......He resembled to a T the "Man " who persistently appeared in her dreams, ever since she had crossed her teens and exhibited mutable signs of progressive womanhood . It was not a "love at first sight" phenomenon , nevertheless Cupid struck between the two love birds who spoke for hours over the phone, hours which passed like seconds.....Often the morning door bell aroused her from the hysterical frame of mind that she unknowinghly dived in to, on hearing Bob's voice..... They seemed like a perfect "made for each other" couple, each wanting to fly away far with the other..., chasing their uncertain, unrealistic dreams with utmost genuinity.

Love is blind, they say, but in her case it had proved a point beyond that by metamorphosing her from a jovial girl in to an obtuse person, who had willingly, offered her reasoning capability as an immortal sacrifice to Aphrodite.., the Roman Goddess of Love........Those endless talks that perpetually intruded the day, those gentle, caressing touches that her body splurged on, when she had been on her first date with him, on that rainy day, little pearls of water flowing like rivulets all over her slender body......., those peals of laughter that they jointly shared, How could she forget.......???.....and how would she now live without it??

She dreaded those lonely nights, more than the restless days which she spent carelessly at JP Morgan's. The murky darkness of the room, the cold stillness of the air, the plain white bed spreads and the ghostly walls outstaring right in to her face, all of them jointly evoked memories of those absorbing conversations, which had defined all the solemn nights of her life. She only had one loyal friend, who never left her even for a millisecond...the reclusive sleeping pills by her bedside, always fully stocked ,that forcibly put her afflicted mind to sleep, successfully for a few hours.. only to wake up with a renewed hope that perhaps, he would call her, that he would talk to her as he used to listlessly during those countless nights, only to hear her soft, low pitched voice.....

Happiness does not stick around for long, it does not linger...........Only if people could understand that....

Bob, left, in pursuance of a lucrative career as an advertisement professional In London, She had never imagined that her dreams would be so short- lived, that her happiness would be so transient , so momentary....., that Bob would give away the love of his life for monetary allurements.... He snatched away her innocent charm, and her flawless smile.......She could never be herself anymore, she had even forgotten the last time she had smiled, her smile which once upon a time, trailed her like a shadow, wherever she went.... ..The only thing that she could effortlessly do was cry, cry for long, cry for hours till the tear glands dried..............., without a drop to flow..............

"Why do People fall in love, why do u infinitely like somene to the extent that your own happiness seem so insignificant, so meaningless......................??. Gazing at the waves, which now flowed in a pattern, she tried to find an answer to the most mysteroius secret of life...But could only hear the brutal sea roar with all its strength., perhaps there was none..................

The phone rang again, this time breaking the awkward silence that had engulfed her inner self......

She had to find her heaven once again, here on earth.......



(This article is dedicated to a person who is very close to me, hope , she too finds her heaven, once again on this beautiful earth)

(This article should be in no way rewritten or republished without the consent of the writer. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely fictional)