A dream, forsaken.....

The unfortunate unceasing nights never saw a single ray of light
The darkness imprisoned the docile sky with a dictatorial staff
The tears hit the dreams of my heart, gushing like an overflowing river
And my wavering breath found not an iota of solace...........

I waited and waited, with innocent dreams in my eyes
Though my perplexed mind rummaged to find an answer to one
Then, one cloudy day my poor heart cried out
It asked my mind unhesitantly,"Is there an answer, or is there none??"

But my mind was irked and annoyed with the constant pleas of my heart
and it challenged my heart a war of time
The noble heart that only knew to love
found arrows and blood stained swords all around

My heart waged the war with words of love and prayers
But against the mighty mind, it was weak and incapacitated
My mind cruelly slashed it a powerful blow
and it bled profusely, with no drop to shed

My heart gave up, it had failed....
All the castles of hope came crashing down to death
Alas my victorious mind blurted out with a taste of arrogance.....
"You were a fool, he was never meant for you"

A painful whisper, unheard.....

My bleared eyes weep untiringly
and the ink smears with blots of tears that plummet on it...

My anguished heart squeals with a bleat........
that even my own ears pretend not to heed....

The tyrant night ousts my ailing mind....
mocking my sorrow, with subdued laughter....

My frail body quivers with a silent pain...
as i cripple my wits with a blanket of those cheerful days.....

The gloomy sky grows darker and morose...
and i sit quietly on my detached bed, to mourn....

What did i do, or fail to do?? What did i say or did not say??
What wrong did i commit by loving you more than my self??

How did those sunny days that glowed with our smiles
hypnotise those times in to these dark unending nights??

Are u deaf or do you choose to be blind??
Don't i deserve an answer, atleast a wipe??

Wish you had a heart that could hear my cry....
For your memories punch wounds that i silently endure a lifetime...

A LIFE WITH YOU.

“Love can touch just one time and last for a lifetime- E. Charles”

The first light of the day clandestinely dawned, overpowering the conceited night that silenced even the tiniest constituent of nature. She slowly rose, pulling away the baby pink curtains that constrained her to the four walls of her otherwise roomy bedroom. The glimmering sun sneakily penetrated through the crystal windows that opened in to the enormous garden meticulously decorated today, with some of the daintiest flowers of the world. She stood by the window, literally gulping the fresh air gushing outside, swinging in nature’s own unexplainable rhythm…Every morning at the crack of the dawn, she religiously followed this routine, of enjoying the tranquility of the early sunrise, her ears sharply listening to the cuckoo, perched high on a branch longingly calling out to its mate….Today, her voice harmoniously joined with that of the little melodious cuckoo, in calling out her beloved’s name…..It sung with a delight so obvious to the perky birds, that they twittered with joy, the composed air carried the message of her love, it smelled of the warmth of a heart that so persistently waited for the love of her life………..

A slight knock at the door and she instantly recognized her Mom’s indistinct footsteps. They were fainter than usual and she knew why….Her feet just wouldn’t walk, they had to be dragged till they somehow reached the archaic door. The creaking old door, which she oiled everyday, today opened unhesitant, without a drop of oil, it obliged in re-in forcing the mother-daughter bonding that echoed in every corner of the vast house…. Every inch, evry quarter of the house will now scream with the pain of a lonely soul that had lovingly brought up a child for twenty three years., it will flood with the tears of a desolate mother, whose daughter chose to settle in a far awayland with the prince of her life...

She had clearly heard uninterrupted sobs in the dead silence of the frigid night, yesterday, the weeping heart had deceived her mother's futile attempts to be unheard, they grew louder and louder every passing second till her sharp ears deeply assimilated them...As she stood face to face, not knowing whether to cry or flash a pretentious smile, she saw those doting eyes that glutted with love always, full of tears , those adamant tears that refused to stop.. One revered ceremony was going to establish a new meaning to their lives…The bond would be there strong as always, but deep inside she knew her priorities would sson about to acquire a new dimension, a novel perspective...

The heavy suitcases toppled one above the other, waiting in the car to be taken to their new home…She neatly folded the crisp bed sheets as usual and placed them in her cupboard.…She quietly lay on the bed, now bare without a sheet, tickling her small Pungi, an inanimate bedside teddy bear, until now, As she closed her eyes, those countless nights came alive , those nights she had spent alone in her bedroom, gazing at the starry night sky for hours, besotted by their unfathomable heavenliness….She would no longer have to rely on them any more….The nights henceforth would spell an age of marital bliss, something of which she had only dreamt of, heard of, they were welcoming her in to an uncharted territory of expressive love, that would immortalize the virtuous relation between him and her.Her body inadvertently geared up to witness that exhilarating moment of her life..


She got up and her eyes cast one last look at the photo, that proudly occupied the most prominent position of her dressing table…It was about a year back, they had been to Mauritius, an exotic destination, with a plethora of beautiful beaches, adorned with sparkling blue waters. How her Mom had screamt the place down when she had been scuba diving for the first time alone, the camera had caught her mother's pale face unawares, poor thing, she had been scared to death with anxiety that ruled her motherly affections…She would soon know what it takes to be a mother…She placed the photo careful, not to move an inch from its proud position…“That is how a Woman is, She has to leave one for the other”...Sh e would soon know what it takes to be a mother....

" That is how a woman is, she has to leave one for the other..."

Beep, beep….And she saw the world’s most beautiful name flashing across her cell phone’s screen…The melancholy that had anesthetized her heart until now , vanished behind a broad smile on seeing Amit’s name….

“Love is amazing…It makes beautiful things happen..It makes you forget, at the same time cheers you with memories endlessly"

She gazed unblinkingly at those four alphabets...A, M, I, T. They looked so beautiful when they unanimously fused in to a name that was engraved in the propound sensitivities of her heart. Every time, she saw "that" name, her heart leapt with bouts of such great joy, that she used to forget that she was on earth, more importantly a living part of it…She felt transported to a different world altogether, where they would partake in their little dreams, miles away from the nasty world that relentlessly stalked their modest moments of happiness. They had sailed many a rough seas, they had weathered many a turbulent storms, only with a boat of intense love that crushed all those callous intentions to separate them. Their love was true, it had survived; now, it would last forever…..

“To my loving about to be wife forever”
I feel all my prayers have been answered. I am fortunate to share my life with you…I have loved you always and will love you till the end of my life..”

A big tear drop moved hastily down her elegant face and in no time another followed…She always knew he loved her, but today the words spoke “how much”

“Is there any joy greater than knowing that there is someone always waiting for you?
“Can you be more luckier if you are pre-destined to spend your life with the person you love the most, in spite of all odds…??

The heavens opened and the virgin angels harped an enticing song,

Just then there was a flash…And there was her mother, smiling through gladdened tears, with the same old camera in hand, almose moist now, with the sacrosanct tears...Rubbing her eyes, she ran like a small child waiting to be hugged by her mother, in to the open arms that proudly held the white ceremonial bridal dress, …They both held each other in a long embrace. As her mother caressed her long hair set high above in a French fashion, her eyes caught the gleam of the giant diamond ring that sparkled brilliantly on her slender finger….

The stone shone with an unfading splendor....
It radiated with an essence of love that burnt in two young hearts alike................

( This article is purely fictitious...Names used have no resemblance to any person, living or dead..)

For you and for you only.....

"I asked God for water, he gave me an ocean.
I asked God for a flower, he gave me a garden.
I asked God for a tree, he gave me a forest.
I asked God for a friend, he gave me YOU."


I learnt the priceless value of friendship when i met you....U came like a soothing gentle wind, that swept away all the turbulent thoughts of my life.....

My best friend was always me....I was a cynical, cryptic creature, who completely adhered to the pessimistic belief that" Every Man is an island, though no one can live alone on one.....".

But somewhere, Time teaches you......everything....It trains you to become tough, so that u can battle out all the lows of life that follow you like a ghost wherever you go, even if it is to the remotest corner of this earth.

Just like houses are made of bricks and homes are made of hearts, u taught me that life is made beautiful by the people around you....That money, career, privileges, splurges, eveything matters, but nothing is more cherishable than friendship, and dear friends.....

"Why me, why only me"?....Oh man, will I care when I m already groggy, overloaded with a pile of sorrows, dropping all over my fragile self?? But you shooted surprises at me when I opened my can of worms to you.....And i have to admit" You are indeed a great friend and an amazingly understanding human".

"A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears."

You offered me your shoulders, when my head canted with the gruelling burden of my unhealed hurts. You cried with me, when my eyes shed rivers of unceasing tears....You offered me your ears when my heart was throbbing with pain, gasping aloud only to be heard by someone.... And most importantly u convinced me that there is someone who loves me to the extent that mankind has never seen and believed.

Your hallmark "smile" proved that there is no joy greater than making people beam, your cheerful nature and exuberant personality, inspired me with a longing to live, to enjoy all the resplendence that eyes sometimes overlook... You rejoiced with me when i was happy, as if it were your own........

Inner Beauty supercedes everything...Sometimes it is like a gem hidden among the coals...Eyes may not see it, but the heart cannot miss it. Your brightness shines like a star in the night sky and your awe-inspiring sense of humour transcends the sadness of people around you.

Ultimately, a friend is the one who accepts you the way u are., with whom u can be yourself....true and geniune... I know i can always count on you, and i know that distance can never keep us apart............


My joyous lips will always smile when i think of you and my caring heart will always pray for you, because i have found a really wonderful friend in you..

Words desert me when i think of writing about you and the dictionary becomes ineffective even with its comprehensive vocabulary......

All i can now sense is what Winnie the Pooh once felt........

"If You live to be a hundred, i want to live hundred minus one, so I never have to live without you"



(This article is for my dearest friend David Antony, who has taught me to smile, even in the most odd circumstances, Thank you da.....For always being there......)

Where on earth is my heaven???.

"Heaven is a choice to be made on earth,
Not a place to be found".

These obscure lines, kept reechoing its nuances, in her mind, like those of the recurring, strikingly powerful waves lashing at the vast, unsparingly spread white shore, which was visibly clear untill a few minutes before. She could no longer see them through the large , freshly cleaned glass -paned window, still smelling of the cleansing liquid......The overcast sky, defending itself from the fury of the mighty clouds, clashing against each other, willfully poured its casket of burning anger on earth, and soon enough, it was followed by the thunder's deafening groan..........every element of nature, set out to prove its unruly force to the other.

"Weather can be so treacherous", she muttered to herself....... and so can be Life, capricious and totally unpredictable..........

The cruel phone in the drawing room rang constantly, shrieking with it all its intensity. She ran into the hall, opened the creaking door that led her way in to the dark room , which was emitting the continous sound. The ring abruptly ended, when she placed her right foot in to the room.as if the caller had heard the gentle tap of her footsteps, invading the room and had decided to refrain from talking.......And even her feet, played the part of an accomplice by defying every consciously made attempt to move forward.

This bluish coloured, square shaped phone had meant everything to her a few months ago , for many, it was simply another inanimate object, similar to the dozens that every average household boasts of, but for her, it was nothing less than a dear comrade , who brought her lover's messages time and again, crossing the distant seven oceans and seas..........The voice of Bob, filtered through the innumerable tiny holes of the earpiece ....was so pure and chaste, just like the bhajans that she used to sing ,even before the chirpy birds woke up from their sleepy nights, to an active day............Now the phone, was a mere lifeless instrument.....whose invariant sound played havoc with her hackneyed senses....every time it rang.....

She had met Bob, a freelance journalist working for various NGOs, during a trip to the States. A young, exuberant individual, who strongly held the binding principles of his life with an inviolable chord of closely - knitted values, a Gandhian to the core.......He resembled to a T the "Man " who persistently appeared in her dreams, ever since she had crossed her teens and exhibited mutable signs of progressive womanhood . It was not a "love at first sight" phenomenon , nevertheless Cupid struck between the two love birds who spoke for hours over the phone, hours which passed like seconds.....Often the morning door bell aroused her from the hysterical frame of mind that she unknowinghly dived in to, on hearing Bob's voice..... They seemed like a perfect "made for each other" couple, each wanting to fly away far with the other..., chasing their uncertain, unrealistic dreams with utmost genuinity.

Love is blind, they say, but in her case it had proved a point beyond that by metamorphosing her from a jovial girl in to an obtuse person, who had willingly, offered her reasoning capability as an immortal sacrifice to Aphrodite.., the Roman Goddess of Love........Those endless talks that perpetually intruded the day, those gentle, caressing touches that her body splurged on, when she had been on her first date with him, on that rainy day, little pearls of water flowing like rivulets all over her slender body......., those peals of laughter that they jointly shared, How could she forget.......???.....and how would she now live without it??

She dreaded those lonely nights, more than the restless days which she spent carelessly at JP Morgan's. The murky darkness of the room, the cold stillness of the air, the plain white bed spreads and the ghostly walls outstaring right in to her face, all of them jointly evoked memories of those absorbing conversations, which had defined all the solemn nights of her life. She only had one loyal friend, who never left her even for a millisecond...the reclusive sleeping pills by her bedside, always fully stocked ,that forcibly put her afflicted mind to sleep, successfully for a few hours.. only to wake up with a renewed hope that perhaps, he would call her, that he would talk to her as he used to listlessly during those countless nights, only to hear her soft, low pitched voice.....

Happiness does not stick around for long, it does not linger...........Only if people could understand that....

Bob, left, in pursuance of a lucrative career as an advertisement professional In London, She had never imagined that her dreams would be so short- lived, that her happiness would be so transient , so momentary....., that Bob would give away the love of his life for monetary allurements.... He snatched away her innocent charm, and her flawless smile.......She could never be herself anymore, she had even forgotten the last time she had smiled, her smile which once upon a time, trailed her like a shadow, wherever she went.... ..The only thing that she could effortlessly do was cry, cry for long, cry for hours till the tear glands dried..............., without a drop to flow..............

"Why do People fall in love, why do u infinitely like somene to the extent that your own happiness seem so insignificant, so meaningless......................??. Gazing at the waves, which now flowed in a pattern, she tried to find an answer to the most mysteroius secret of life...But could only hear the brutal sea roar with all its strength., perhaps there was none..................

The phone rang again, this time breaking the awkward silence that had engulfed her inner self......

She had to find her heaven once again, here on earth.......



(This article is dedicated to a person who is very close to me, hope , she too finds her heaven, once again on this beautiful earth)

(This article should be in no way rewritten or republished without the consent of the writer. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely fictional)

Grow up, Man

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
How i wonder what u are!
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the Sky!

Those nursery rhymes, those carefree playful years, those grimy hands smelling of fresh wet mud...........................................................They were so wonderful, so amazing.....But nevertheless time bound....

Oh, how i still miss those nappy days, when all i used to do was "trying" to "run" around in my three room apartment situated in the congested locality of Thane...My wobbly feet danced with sumptuous joy on the little support that the rambling pillar provided with its generous bounty of mercy...I can till date recapitulate how i used to briskly run around,when i may be a little over four, my delicate feet, often giving way and leaving tiny bruises all over my knees, only to be hugged and lifted by my 6"feet "He-Man" uncle, the only exception in my family of short people...

Those memorable days were often accompanied by incessant pleas for those special "Foreign" chocolates and icecreams(my taste buds still long for that rich, creamy flavour, not that Indian ones are any bad) and left me throwing tantrums, only to receive gentle pats, with a complimentary lullaby.(However i could choose the language).....It was like "Buy two Get one free offer"...Sometimes if i were just a little lucky, i could lay my hands on a small candy bar, not more than the size of an eraser.The logical reasoning that followed that their bold action and my formidable reaction was "Shonu, kutta, chocolates are bad for the teeth"....

"Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear Polish ur shoes
Teddy bear, Teddy bear, off to school."

Then came the time to pack your weighty, bulky bags and go off to school.....Standing at the Gate of the school and waving goodbye to their dearest Mom, was an everyday ordeal for most of my childish friends, I used to tease them, often using that as an excuse to bully them, "Oh man, Grow up".

Those impisch acts and naughtyand saucy behaviourof a bunch of us , maddened quite a few of nursery teachers, but the excellent grades that they could see through their steel rimmed glasses, always positioned me in their list of "smart, brilliant kids".

As i Child, i used to crave to become big, or rathergrow big...so, that i could be out on my own.....I had involuntarily changed in to the mindset of a Traveller with huge rucksacks on his shoulder, unsure of his dusty, perhaps, even ardous way ahead, but nevertheless determinded to succesfully complete his unknowing journey.....

Being Born is the biggest Gift that u can ever ask for, Growing up the greatest boon...After all everyonehas to grow up, life has its own courses and circles..... U learn to live each day as it comes, with all the ups and downs that the capricious life has to offer. Growth is an inherent part of life, something that cannot be dispensed with.. Sometimes reality strikes u like a thunderstorm, blatant and powerful and u have to painfully accept the echt fact that u are no longer small. Perhaps, now i know it all the more when i seen people around me thoroughly relying on me, especially when i am aware that every action or reaction that i knowingly or unknowingly take can make or mar relationships with people....

The other day, i was sitting in the train, just opposite to a Female with a small baby in her arms, a sweet, angelic little girl , whose wide eyes opened like a large book. Her delicate, snowwhite fingers clutched the Duppata of her mother, who was busy mixing thevarious nutritive ingredients of the Baby food...All of a sudden , apparently, for no reason, she started wailing and desperately breaking herself free, from the strong arms that it once affectionately held.. My human brains rushed like a Rajdhani, trying to find an answer to the child's, illogical behavoiur.All i could say, that the 1o minutes which my feeble mind spent analysing the child's behavoiur was completely futile.......

Nature has its own inexplainable ways of doing things..No wonder, God gave the priceless treasure of multiplying the human race to the women folk. Nobody can understand a child as a woman does, there is a subtle, but impregnable connection which links them to each other in to some kind of covalent bond....The Lady, an unruffled look in her eyes, held the child gently to her chest and kissed her forehead.....She held her so closely that the warmth of her composed body put the child's crying, puffy eyes to sleep..Fortunately, the commuters were saved from the blaring cries that ripped apart their ears, the tiny , sharp shrieks more potent than an explosive......


And that's when I realised the beauty of growing up.......Of understanding without being told , of learning without being taught, , of not giving a care to the world, yet being so affectionate and caring....and most importantly of doing things without expecting anything in return